AKA I love my mother
Mom: "Let me tell you my gay list."
Me: "........what"
Mom: "Zooey Deschanel. Ju--"
Me: "Mom, I think Zooey's a little young for you."
Mom: "Well, she's also the same sex as me so let's not get carried away here. Also Julie Bowen."
Me: "...kay"
ALSO After she made two pies
Mom: "I'm Betty Fucking Crocker."
Me: "I don't think Betty Crocker spoke like that."
Mom: "That's because she was fictional."
Us at the grocery store: There was a big display of alcohol (because what you need with the impending promise of family is LOTS OF RUM apparently). I backed into a Captain Morgan display.
Me: "Oh! Oh! Captain Morgan is being inappropriate!"
...Then we bought Kaluha and Caramel Godiva Liquer.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING (for those who be celebratin')


